While high-rise residential buildings put many people and families in very close proximity to one another, living side-by-side doesn’t automatically turn a group of people into a community—sometimes it even has the opposite effect. 

Lives are busy and schedules are hectic, and the last thing many people want to do when they’re at home is to go socialize with their neighbors. Building a sense of community in a building or HOA is valuable, however, it creates a network of communication and support among building residents, and ultimately improves the quality of life within the building community. Let’s take a look at the delicate balance between privacy and community.

Urban Sanctuaries 

A generation ago, even when New Jerseyans held jobs in New York City, suburbs reigned over urban areas as the premium places of residence. Lawns and local Main Streets offered a respite from the hustle and bustle of the big city. But, now more young professionals are looking to stay closer to the city, and raise their children there. High-rises on the Gold Coast have been a popular  home for many new homeowners. 

Suburban towns may foster more private bedroom communities, but schools, little leagues, and public spaces offered citizens to interact with one another. Though individuals and families are more densely packed in to high rises, many of these buildings ironically foster less neighborliness. For some reason, the close quarters tends to make people less open, perhaps in order to protect some sacred, quiet space after the incessant crowds of the streets and offices during the day. What this means is that residents in city apartments, unlike others in the suburbs or exurbs, are less likely to depend on their neighbors as a social outlet. “We find that the majority of high rises that we manage really are more private, but the goal is to create a more community-type feel, and foster more neighborliness, but they do tend to be more private,” says Andrew Batshaw, executive director of FirstService Residential Mid-Atlantic’s High Rise Division in Lyndhurst.

David J. Amster, the president of Prime Locations Inc. in Yonkers, has also seen this happen. “It’s complacency—resident complacency,” he says. “People don’t want to be involved in the building.” Many high-rise dwellers lead very busy lives, and getting involved where they live can just seem like an extra burden on their already full plate.

A resident could easily lose themselves in a hirise apartment complex with hundreds of units; in a townhouse, hiding is not so easy. 

“I live in a four-unit co-op, and so everyone knows each other very well,” says Michael Strange, who works in financial services and lives in a Brooklyn, New York townhouse. While this undoubtedly has its benefits—less red tape, more communication—it is not without its pratfalls. “This level of intimacy is not always warm and fuzzy and can lead to co-op issues and disagreements becoming personal, thereby making it difficult to run the co-op efficiently as a corporation.”

This can happen in a large building too, of course, although the fewer number of residents in a small one mean that everyone necessarily must be involved, whether they like it or not.  “Additionally, as these situations arise and are taken personally, alliances that may form between certain units can be much more powerful in a small building,” Strange notes, “given the small number of total votes that can sway decisions one way or the other.” 

Residents don’t have to like one another, but they do have to get along for it all to work. The essence of an association, after all, is associating with a larger group of homeowners. Actively fostering a strong sense of building community can help smooth the rough edges.

“One of the things that happens in good communities is that people work together to make the building better. Building community cuts down on some of the day to day neighbor problems,” Amster says. “Noise complaints are inevitable with that type of living, but if you know who your neighbor is, it lessens the blow. Otherwise it can turn into as escalating situation where people are shouting and banging on the walls.” In other words, you’re more likely to behave civilly towards a neighbor you know a little, even if said neighbor is maybe not someone you’d invite to your kid’s wedding.

Strange agrees. “This is probably stating the obvious, but a strong sense of community will foster general mindset of cooperation, contribution, and participation in the association or building. Buildings and associations need this cooperation and participation to function efficiently and in everyone’s best interest.” If not, the opposite can occur. “With a lack of community sense,” he continues, “individual unit owners will be more likely to act selfishly and without thought for the good of the overall building or association, even when the greater good is also beneficial to the individual units. Rather than thinking about what’s best for the building or the building’s value, the people in the individual units may be more likely to begin to default, vote, or lean toward whatever decisions or options are best for only them individually.”

Then there is the quality of life aspect. If the people who live in a building make up the character of that building, buying into the building is a sign that you want to be part of the general vibe of the place. Who would purchase a unit in a building filled with people they didn’t care for? Knowing the neighbors is, in fact, one of the benefits of owning an apartment, be it a condo or a co-op. There are many reasons to buy, but one is surely to live a less transient lifestyle. “If you don’t know who your neighbors are, it becomes more like a rental building than a co-op or condo,” Amster says. 

Fortunately, more New Jerseyans have become wise to the benefits of community-mindedness, and property managers are witnessing the change. “The biggest thing we're finding is that high rises on the Gold Coast are looking for a lifestyle, they're not looking to just be a building anymore. They want to be in a community, and we think it's fabulous and the way to go. It makes for happier residents,” says Batshaw.

In the ever-expanding luxury real estate market, lifestyle buildings have become the newest trend. Yoga enthusiasts now wish to seek out buildings that cater to their interests, and in turn, find that it can be quite nice to meet like-minded neighbors at in-house yoga classes.

But, amenities aren't enough to bring people together. “One of the most important things we try to do is promote community involvement by holding social events for the community for people to be able to meet their neighbors, and interact on a social level, not just at board meetings which can at times be contentious. We try to get community involvement by getting community members to come out and join committees and actually participate and serve the community,” says Batshaw.

In places like Jersey City, there are myriad options to seek out fun, but in-house building events are extra convenient, and property managers find that a hyper-local event that's just downstairs draws interest from residents. “In Jersey City, one of the biggest events is July 4th party on the rooftop deck and watching the fireworks. We have holiday events, a Christmas event, New Years' Eve, a Superbowl party. We might bring in a local store, we might do a whiskey tasting, or bring in a magician or a clown for children. Really similar to what's done in lifestyle communities, we're really trying to bring that type of lifestyle into our high rises,” says Batshaw.

But, in order to establish a strong community, unit owners can't just behave as avid consumers, they have to be willing to give back as well. That means getting involved in the operations of the building. “When [unit owners] roll up their sleeves a little bit and get involved, whether it be planning a social event, or working on the budget, or being on a covenants committee, they're actually involved in the day-to-day operations of the building. So, they get a good sense of how the building operates and how it functions. They take that ownership, and it really does create a sense of pride in the building, and fosters that neighborly feeling,” says Batshaw.

“Have meetings—not just the annual meeting—with the residents and shareholders and condo owners,” Amster suggests. Being privy to the goings-on about the building, even for something relatively tame, can be inspiring. Residents tend to leave such meetings feeling better about their building communities. “It creates a sense that’s not ‘them versus us.’”

One of the wonders of our age is that communities need not be confined to the physical. Residents can interact on the Internet without meeting each other frequently in real-time. Buildings can have private Facebook groups, for example, that only restrict membership to residents. Social media can work well for this, or you can use BuildingLink or MyPage. 

“It's a great way to get communications out, and to let people know what's going on in the community. We like to keep it official as possible in order to protect the association to make sure there's no liability about what's being posted. It's also about protecting property values. Individual Facebook pages that aren't the official pages of the building, anyone can put anything on that. If you have a disgruntled homeowner, the last thing you want is to post negative things about the community, because that will have a detrimental effect on property values,” says Batshaw.

Perhaps most importantly, an engaged and active association draws interest from the outside, particularly prospective buyers. “Residents are happier and much nicer to each other. You'll find that people smile and talk to each other on the elevator, instead of staring at the floor and watching the numbers tick by. We do really find that a happy community or an involved community is a happy community, and that really translates to helping property values,” says Batshaw. Not only does a friendly, involved community make for a more pleasant residential experience, it also helps the bottom line—a win-win if there ever was one.         

Greg Olear is a frequent contributor to the New Jersey Cooperator. Associate Editor Tom Lisi contributed to this article.